How to deal with children's fears?

Very often, children feel a sense of anxiety and anxiety. This is what makes them excessively excited. Fear arises as a result of any phenomenon. As a rule, in such situations, the child reacts sharply to the circumstances.

Fears are experienced not only by children, but also by adults. Certain of their features flow from child life to adult life, often panic in nature. Parents have many questions about what children's fear is and how to be able to overcome it with the child.

Fears all ages

Psychologists have shown that absolutely all children experience fear. Regardless of age, any child may experience fright. This is not affected by age. As a rule, each period of development of the baby dictates a certain type of fright.

1-3 years

This is the age at which a child begins to comprehend and know himself. Scarce gradually studies the surrounding reality and realizes that he is not part of mom. However, for a child, a family is a safe fortress. Therefore, most fears are associated precisely with separation from the family.

If you think about it, then the child from one to three years overwhelmingly cries because there is no mom nearby. For him, this is a tremendous stress. And let him when his mother is nearby, he can play, run and jump on his own.

But looking at him, there will be a sense of security. After all, the baby is behind a strong mother's wall, and this means that nothing threatens him.

As for other fears, they are all instilled in this age parents. No matter how surprising it may seem, but being still very emotionally attached to his mother, the baby watches carefully for her. He studies her behavior and copies it.

If the mother is upset or crying, the child will immediately begin to sob bitterly. When the mother is happy, smiles and calmly merges into the new team, the baby will follow her example.

Often parents make the baby afraid of something, so long as he obeys them. For example, if you do not want to get up from the couch, parents say that there is an evil uncle in another room. It is at such a moment that the fear of the child increases, and he begins to be afraid to move independently, while being wary of strangers.

In no case should this be done. It is necessary to explain by other available means why it is good to do something and something is bad. Watch carefully for the books you read. Before bed, it is better not to read fairy tales about Baba Yaga, Barmaley, or an evil child. Surround your baby with maximum positive.

3-5 years

At this age, the child already understands that there is not only himself and his mother, but also the people around him. The kid recognizes the society and learn to live in it. This period is marked by the first friendly relations, when the differentiation begins with those with whom he is friends and not friends.

As a rule, a 3-5 year old baby easily enters into a friendly and friendly relationship. But since the child understands that in addition to mom, dad and him there is still the world around him, he begins to experience a sharp lack of communication from the parents. This is especially acute if a newborn appears in the family.

The task of parents is to be able to cope with the psychotic mood of the baby. To do this, be patient and understand that his tantrums and moods are not permanent. Very soon they will pass, changing to a favorable attitude.

The child has a nightly fear that he will fall out of love. It is quite difficult to explain to parents that this will not happen. Explain in words is not worth it. It is necessary to prove actions.

Visit your baby as often as possible, take walks and family trips. In the case of a newborn, take the time and attention and older baby.

In addition to fear of losing maternal love, there is a fear of confined spaces. At this time, parents begin to punish, closing one in the room. It is forbidden to do this. Subsequently, fear can give a negative impetus to mental development.

5-7 years

The age at which a child begins to comprehend the world around. Reality no longer seems to him as rosy as in infancy. The child understands that in addition to positive emotions, there are negative ones.

Events can also be completely different. For example, war, death, destruction. We see all this every day on TV, adults talk about it.

The first thing a preschooler starts to fear is the death of people close to him. The child realizes that sooner or later everyone will die, he is actively beginning to fear death. Depending on the awareness, a preschooler may also be frightened by war, destruction, critical situations in the country.

At this age, parents are much harder to explain that everything will be fine. Now not enough mother's hugs. It should show as much as possible positive in life. It is necessary to teach to relate to reality without pessimism, to enjoy the things around them, to find happiness in the ordinary.

7-11 years old

At school age, fears become clearer and more obvious. Fright before the death of parents or loved ones persists. The student begins to be afraid of specific things, namely, poor grades, punishment of parents, attacks of robbers, invasion of the house.

At school age, there is a certain differentiation of children, when some become excellent students, and others - troechniki.

Parents and those and others should suggest that there is nothing wrong with the fact that the child stands out from the rest of the children. This is completely mundane. We are all individuals, it is not at all necessary to be a typical schoolboy.

11-16 years old

The most difficult period, adolescence. At this time, the age of maturity, a change in worldview, is approaching. The child is formed as an adult and an independent person.

Surprisingly, teenage fears are the strongest, because they flow against the background of hormonal disorders, which means a clear manifestation of certain fears.

Girls have more problems than boys. They strive to be beautiful, slim, smart. Themselves put forward a large number of criteria, which tend to meet later. However, compliance is not always possible to maintain.

Boys and girls are afraid to be misunderstood and outcast. During this period, parents will have a hard time. They still do not perceive their children as adults and independent personalities, but at the same time they realize that they are no longer children.

Instill confidence in the child that you consider his full-fledged personality. To do this, entrust as many independent affairs as possible. For example, let a son or daughter go to the store themselves for a list of products, prepare simple dishes.

Gradually introduce the child to adulthood, thereby showing that you accept the fact that you are no longer a little child.

Schoolchildren Fears


The first and most obvious fears experienced schoolchild in elementary grades. He wants to be like everyone else, study well and receive only positive marks. Looping on ratings leads many children to a sense of fear of getting a negative mark.

In addition, children are afraid to be separated from their parents. The worst are those who did not go to kindergarten. Now they have a responsibility to the teacher and classmates. Increased responsibility imposes a certain amount of stress.

Parents at this time should correctly and gently adapt the student to the new circumstances in his life. This must be done in advance. Occupy a child every day painting or modeling. Let him become the norm to sit in a room alone and engage in some kind of diligent activity.

Where do children's fears come from?

On the basis of impressionability, the special sensitivity of the child, the formation of those or other children's fears occurs. Some of them can clearly manifest themselves in early childhood, others only reflect at a later age. Often it is the wrong education is the main cause of children's fear.

However, psychologists point out a number of other reasons why you can trace your child and determine what became the main criterion:

  1. Negative experience.
    The most frequent and common example in which a child is in childhood is experiencing a difficult situation, forcing him to experience excessive stress. As a rule, this is not amenable to treatment and adjustment. Subsequently develops into phobias. For example, in childhood a small child was frightened by an angry dog, now until the end of his days he will be afraid of dogs, without even realizing what the actual problem is. He may forget the situation, but the experienced emotions will remain with him.
  2. Wrong behavior of parents.
    Very often, you can face a situation where parents intimidate their children. For example, in case of bad behavior they say to the baby that they will give it to the uncle passing by. Of course, the child begins to unconsciously fear outsiders.
  3. Excessive emotional anxiety on the part of adults.
    Until the age of 3 years old, the baby acutely feels all the emotions coming from the parents. If they are constantly nervous, jumped up and afraid to let him go to the hill, the stairs, any elevation, then very soon the child himself will become twitchy and fearful.
  4. As a rule, slaughtered and insecure children grow up in authoritarian and aggressive parents.
    The child is afraid to take an extra step, to turn. He is shocked because he fears a negative reaction in his address.
  5. An excessive number of cartoons, movies, computer games.
    Many parents believe that good cartoons can be watched endlessly. This is absolutely not true. The consequences will be negative.

The reasons why children's fears are amplified

Sometimes a child may experience only mild fright. But he can disappear altogether, or turn into a more serious emotional damage. This is precisely the fear of children.

It is enhanced if:

  • the parent has a sense of anxiety about this matter. The child is like a sponge, he reads the mother's feelings and emotions at lightning speed, and his own emotional background starts to intensify immediately;
  • strict upbringing;
  • maternal mental disorders;
  • constant feeling of loneliness;
  • lack of protection and psychological security in the form of parents (in dysfunctional families);
  • overprotection and custody by the grandmother and mom and dad.

As you can guess, the reasons lie in different. And in the upbringing it is necessary to find the very ideal balance that will help the child cope with the problem.

It is impossible to overprotect the child, drawing his attention to the large number of dangers that await him. It is also forbidden to include an authoritarian regime at home, where the child will not have the right to speak and vote.

How to deal with children's fears?


Fears are psychological problems. Just because they can not be treated. It is necessary to first correctly diagnose, identify the cause, and then proceed to a comprehensive solution to the problem. Each technique is effective, but it is selected on the basis of a specific case.

With the help of fairy tales

The most unique technique that has proven its effectiveness numerous times. Parents read fairy tales to a child in which they experience the events that happened with him.

Fairy tales are necessary for any child in order to properly shape the perception of the surrounding reality, to be able to cope with problems in life. The psychologist in this case carefully selects fairy tales with similar difficulties and circumstances.

The child understands that he is not alone in his problems and, with the help of fairy tales, proves to himself that he is strong and confident. Thus, you will not even notice how the once fearful boy began to quietly go into a dark room.

This technique is good because it is available without the help of a psychologist at home. So the baby will feel much more comfortable.

Game technique

All kids love to play. It is proved that the game for them is not empty entertainment and a waste of time, it is a way to learn about the surrounding reality. During the game, the development of communication skills, communication, socialization and many others.

It is necessary to choose a game that is suitable for a stressful situation. Only in her will the child look down upon the problem and quickly be able to solve it.


There are many different therapies depending on the problem. It can be drawings, music, reading, singing, dancing. With one therapy, the baby learns to look at his fear in the face, depicting it on paper. And the other, for example, music will help to relax and relieve tension.

As a rule, a complex effect on a stressful situation will help to cope with the problem in a child.

Is there prevention?

As they say, any disease is easier to prevent than to cure. Treat fear as the same ailment that requires treatment.

Psychologists give simple tips that in the future will help get rid of excessive stress:

  1. Be sure to surround your baby with warmth, attention, care and love.
    He does not need lectures, he must understand that they love him and he is safe.
  2. Despite your own fatigue and apathy, always find time for your son and daughter.
    Move family and household affairs away, pay attention to your child.
  3. Communicate with your child's peers as much as possible.
  4. Do not scare with pricks, unfamiliar uncles and aunts.


The development of children's fear is directly influenced by parents. They themselves must learn to control their speech and behavior so that the baby at an early age does not know what a fright it is. And in the case of an alarming situation he was able to cope with the problem.


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